The Endless Ever

2010-03-01T23:23:00.003-06:00

Two years and three months since my last post.
What a world of difference.
Married now.
Life is moving fast.

Feeling somedays like I'm in the current.
not knowing the strokes by which to bring the canoe under control
spinning and floating at the mercy of the water.
Like I know the strokes and cannot seem to use them.

Lord guide my hands and my head.

2008-12-02T02:14:00.003-06:00

I've been a bingo caller for around 9 years now.

It's interesting and somewhat sad to attend these events.

The bingo evenings are held every second Monday in the Duval Town Hall.

My first impression was that this was a very serious group of people.

Each one hard at work, toiling at the task of tracking numbers and longing for the prize.

Now, being a creative man, I looked for ways to liven the somber dabbers.

Often I would call wrong numbers - well not merely wrong, but non-existent ones, like "Q99" - This quickly divided the participants into categories of confused or amused.

I have a dream of taking the bag of old bingo balls which have been replaced and during the course of a card (the term for dabbing away at the numbers on your card until someone bingos) setting them on my lap and releasing them part way through. I have not done this yet, for I fear with the age of some of the participants that a heart attack might occur.

Today I crossed a boundary however.

Immediately after intermission, after the first number had been called for that card, I thought, second guessed and then went for it.

I Yelled "Bingo!"

Everything stopped.

Heads turned.

And people started to laugh.

As they were all experienced players, they knew it was impossible to win with just one number.
and the absurdity found it's funny bone target.

It was a good night.

I'm awake at 2:3oam laughing aloud about it.

...hmm....when to dump those balls?

Emotinos

2008-11-29T13:30:00.000-06:00

2008-11-08T23:52:00.003-06:00

Scott and Jackson

Not sure what the fish's name is.

Dad enjoying the abundance of food

Eric and Max on our ill planned but fantastic hike

around the ENTIRE island.

Eric and Max jumping into Surf City.

Everyone but me at Surf City,

hmm Tom didn't want my

peanut butter square snack.

Something about swelling...

The Campsite on Barker Island

Pelican Narrows Trip Day 0ne

2008-08-10T09:41:00.004-06:00

I'm just back from two weeks canoeing in Saskatchewan's beautiful Northlands. The first trip we put in at North Bay just outside of Pelican Narrows. These Pictures are from the first day.

The Five of Us.

The only fast water we could run on the trip.

All Portages should be like these!

Chad Loves Fish

Don post rapids.

This was a fantastic trip with great guys. More pics to come.

Undeniably Underutilized

2008-02-26T22:26:00.003-06:00

So much for maintaining a consistant pace with this spilling the beans on your computer screens
My passion seems put into sprints and potholes of activity.

What has gone on since last I burst words out into the ether...

I have the lead guy role in our local theatre production. "Check Please!"
Been painting as part of a six painting project (six painters) for Northview Church in Regina SK.
Am photographing The Provincial Girls Curling competition.
Finished a short promotional video for Arlington Beach Camp and Conference Centre
Created a dual disc wedding DVD for Juanita Thiess (ne. Schapansky)

And generally felt overwhelmed.

More later...

So Funny!

2008-01-12T13:33:00.000-06:00

Found this ....

Mr. J

2008-01-09T21:55:00.002-06:00

A valuable lesson I've learned over the past weeks.

DON'T NAME SOMETHING YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO KILL.

For some time I've had sounds coming from my ductwork,
I finally figured out that it was "a mouse"
I named it Mr. Jangles.
(The Green Mile's mouse actor)

Once he became aquainted with my pantry
and the boxes of stores there I had to laugh,
because it would seem that his favorite food
was Access Bars, which are a product which aids greatly the burning of fat.
Though I considered the fact that his efforts to sustain himself
would only lead to weight loss,
I decided that his interest in my cupboard must end.
And then I set traps for him.
Coming back to find him cute, brown and white, and dead.
I felt a good deal of remorse for the poor little guy
and was glad that the metal spring of the trap had caught it precisely across it's neck
providing a quick end to it's life.

Those feelings remorse,
have since faded
with the subsequent elimination of the rest of Mr. Jangles family.
An adventure which has provided me with
a heightened awareness of trap snapping sounds
and included the removal of individuals of the mouse population
in various states of incapacitation.

You shouldn't name something
which someday is going to be staring up at you
from the trap you have set for it.

But I did.

And now I am desensitized.
I think maybe next week I'll rent Mouse Hunt,
or maybe settle into some Stuart Little
to regain some of the cuteness the critters have lost.

As for now,
I'm setting another trap.

2007-12-19T22:53:00.000-06:00

From an art blog I'been reedin'

[That's me in the yellow shorts filmin' away]

http://viaaffirmativa.com/2007/07/09/the-value-of-the-work-of-our-hands…/

"theber Says: September 7th, 2007 at 1:43 pm
It looks like this conversation has largely run its course, but I’m going to comment anyway because I came here today with this very question in mind. I well remember the “souvenier video” from my first week as a camp counselor many years ago. All week I had fought real bugs and imagined bears, herded unruly campers, answered unending questions, looked for lost shoes, and helped scared kids go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. I couldn’t wait for them to go home so I could have a weekend off. Then I saw the video: our week, artfully set to music by a young, underpaid videographer. I was there for all that stuff, but I’d never seen it like that: friendships around the campfire glowed with tenderness, zip-lining over the icy lake was high drama, and winning at capture the flag became a soaring triumph. I still needed a meal and a good night’s sleep, but suddenly I wanted to come back next week and do it all again. I think good art is like that. It shows me more truth about my daily life than I can see while I’m living it. It shows me the glory of the eternal things I take for granted, and the weight of my daily decisions. The life of a saint in a fallen world, not to mention the redemption story itself, is ultimately a grueling perseverence to an exhiliarating come-from-behind win. A finished product that exactly fulfills its purpose - be it Handel’s Messiah or that “well-made pair of jeans” - is an object lesson my heart can read that tells me the story isn’t over, and the end will be grand. Art helps me persevere in faith."

Nice to be a part (as camp videographer this past summer and likely the next ) of something that affects lives both inside and outside the camp.

I'm seriously contemplating heading back out there this summer. With the possibility of resigning my position at the school to make more time for creative work.

This Christmas season has been so far exceptional for pottery sales. The new line is in it's second year and has really come into it's own.

I'm so tired and two more days until the holiday.

When sitting is standing

2007-12-09T23:43:00.000-06:00

This past weekend I went to a local dinner theatre.
The play was horrid.
The actors all did fine jobs, but the content left me sick to my stomach.
I did not stand for a final ovation.
This was part of a the Christmas party of the service club I am a member of.
Most of the people raved. I thought it was empty and hopeless,
and supposed to be a comedy. Seemed more of a tragedy though...
This is not a very good review, perhaps I'll work something up
but I'd rather just forget it.

I'm Now.

2007-12-06T16:42:00.000-06:00

In the previous post the layout caused the words "I'm now"
to be separated from the block of text,
which stirred thoughts about how un-now I tend to live my life
God in his wisdom has given me the fine gift of being able to imagine
yet I spend that wealth imaging far too often those things which are yet distant possibilities.
Living so far forward of "now" endangers the species which is the production of my past dreams.
The production of the sketchbooks full of drawings and plans and diagrams for artworks
somehow "now" must become both the bearer of the past dreams and future schemes.
marked down by and in the work of my hands as one with creative gifts.

An artwork shows both the work of the past, and the possible future of it's improving on the artist
Such scope.
And to dream of bringing old God laden hope to people through it.

well less talk now more action.

Something about posting

2007-12-06T16:30:00.001-06:00

I'm now contemplating the effect writing has on my life.
There seems to be this initial effort barrier to be overcome,
which seems quite insurmountable, but when passed allows my entrance
to a land of intense delight and freedom.

Currently I have stories on the go about:
Pirates/Businessmen
Shepherds
Rappers
Dragons
Surfers
and Medieval legends.

Each time I slide up to the computer or pick up pencil
that wall faces me
takes a great deal of strength to break down, and clamber over the rubble
once on the other side however, the strides are long and the country wide.

I'm experimenting with forms of writing.
New exercises and styles of prose and poetry.
Some of these I'll share in future.
Today I just need to move my fingers for my mind
wierd how that causes things to unwind.

Blessings.

Something about posting

2007-12-06T16:30:00.000-06:00

Back on four wheels

2007-11-24T22:07:00.000-06:00

Well, this week my Astro van (380000km) became ill, spitting brake(break) fluid all over and lessening my chances of complete stops. I decided to replace it.
I've been in love with Pontiac Azteks since I first saw one on Survivor.
I know this puts me in a sample demographic comparable with talking french toast for some of you. But I think she's pretty.

Days of research, and prayer later, here I am ...

Incredible halt sauce

2007-10-23T21:49:00.000-06:00

How to sum up these past couple of months?

Fear.

But also

Focus.

It's encouraging to see the stacks of pottery
sitting on the shelves waiting to be sanded
knowing that this is my best work yet.
That the business is set now to be what I have dreamed it could.
That my schedule of long days of Bus, school, pottery and photography
have not been unfruitful.

But there's been this fear.
that I'll make the same mistakes as in the past
That the whenever the formula for success includes me
the recipe is ruined.
Overcoming that lie will take some time and practice

Tonight's recipe was homemade hot sauce.
I had a large number of hot peppers aging (read as starting to rot)
in my fridge, which I had been avoiding for some time.
I love hot sauces, but had developed this fear of them
believing that somehow I would not be able to handle the spice anymore
Like I've not been able to handle many of the difficult things lately.

Peppers
Water
Vinegar
Salt
Cook, and blend

What could be simpler?
and in the end so marvelously green and delicious
it's first job will be coating on wings.

GREEN WINGS
I think I'll like that.

Ramble ramble

Did I mention my sister Colleen is coming to live and work with me?
So cool.

It's about to explode

2007-09-25T22:43:00.000-06:00

Keeping pace with the emergency
that seems to be the plot of this story
the deadline
the headline
themes in a tale of take it too far and not far enough

The act of being willing to sell my home has set my mind
on those things, so many, unfinished.
Don't worry it's about to explode
should be writted on the side the bomb which is my head.
idea after time killing idea.
warfare on the mundane
built up in stockpile
lists of old cold artwar artwork
gleaming in proposition
and dusty in disuse.

And now when surrendur has been embraced,
the rebellion begins.
these armories are breached and the weapons of this war unleached
from the places they have been sucking out life from the nation

A strange post for a strange day
I worked on an art piece I had abandoned long ago
and fell into passion again

Beautifill
Angel discovered doing a photo shoot for a family I know.
Surprising the things you find not looking for.

150 mugs

2007-08-22T21:32:00.000-06:00

First 75 of 150 mug order thrown.

Nemiben to Devils Lake

2007-08-18T21:24:00.000-06:00

Just back from this year's canoe trip.
It was pretty strenuous at times, but a blast.

We paddled around 30k one day which was epic.
Here are a few picture highlights.

My Schoolhouse home

2007-08-09T08:14:00.000-06:00

A few pics of my schoolhouse for Hanna,
Sorry it took so long

Lover of summer. The documentation. 5 weeks at the lake.

2007-08-07T07:47:00.000-06:00

I'm back home in a frenzy
feeling like Dorothy
having clicked my heels together
and to my surprise arrived back home
out of a land so beautiful
and as familiar as my heart.

It's like the past five weeks have been a blink
a page flipped by wind,
only the wind was created by waves and swarms of golden dragonflies

who carried in their carapace the colours of our God's love for us.
Pages and pages of children's faces
and places
made sacred by the fact that we walk into them carrying the dwelling of God.
yet still having the abilitiy to profane them if we choose.
It is a wonderful, overlovely gift, our freedom in this life.

And I'm in love with it again.

As the sun grits it's way throught he dirty glass of my studio
and warms my bare back and arm
It is good to be back home.
If only for a short time.

Less than one week then canoeing!

Camp

2007-07-20T12:43:00.000-06:00

two and 1/2 weeks at camp
video and photography most days
from 7am to 1am shooting and editing
It's a mix of the hardest I have worked in a long time
and the most pleasure I've had at a job.
Pretty cool
Pictures to come

Time.

2007-06-20T22:21:00.000-06:00

So long since I last posted,
weeks of 17 hour workdays,
a week sick,
It all seems a tangle of dead branches,
so many directions none taking root
with some moments
my head feels like it has been lopped off a the top
and my capacity for thougth scooped out.

Only a week until this school year is out.
Only a week until the first pottery sale of the summer
Only a week plus a couple days until I head out to Arlington for five weeks of Photo and Video
(actually my first assignment is this weekend shooting the lobster feast.)

I don't feel ready.

I'd like to just sit around and chew my cud for a while.
Regurgitate old dreams and digest them for a while, but I guess that is not going to happen.
What new meals await. Pastures green and lush

Oh boy Am I tired.

More reasons why more artists should step up to their call.

2007-06-05T19:26:00.000-06:00

Amazing art

2007-06-03T21:49:00.000-06:00

http://www.oliverpengilley.co.uk

I'm truely impressed

My celebrity Look-alikes

2007-06-02T10:47:00.000-06:00

Hmm Lenin.

Five figures to the bone.

2007-05-29T07:47:00.000-06:00

Weekend
spent doing what I love
new printer
new scanner
foray into the world of fine art photo papers
Brilliant colour.
Up past midnight trying to figure all the technology out.

Pictures of the North Duval Cemetery.

Self Portraits

2007-05-22T08:20:00.001-06:00

There 's something about the image I have of myself,
sometimes distorted, inflated or deflated. It seems seldom that I see
clearly the truth behind what it is I am made to do, to be.
The gifts which God has given for the uplifting of others,
are surprisingly, as I use them,
uplifting to myself as well.
Those things which when I get lost in
am enthralled by
and want to participate in
for only myself,
those are the ones where
too often I see myself sadly as a product of my failures,
rather than my failures as a product of my choices,
and myself as able to choose, at next crossroad, wisely.
(having learned of course the hard way)
Good is in the purpose of everything.
God has loved us enough to give us
the opportunity to see
the good working
everywhere.
delight or despair.
And good to give we all have
in abundance
only it rarely looks like Hollywood.

If my home for now is in my skin
Then the good things I can enter in.
Home movies deserve home music.
I want to make something you can dance to.

Take the fallen places and believe in good unexpected
See the hand of God in every opportunity
and excavate a bit of the good for someone today.
For our selves are the only portraits of us others can see.

Maybe tomorrow your self portrait will be
the one to polish this world to a high shine for someone.
I ramble on.

Seeds

2007-05-17T07:20:00.000-06:00

On my trip to Mud Lake,
the place where I was stuck
removed around 15 woodticks
and basically had a good time.

But it has me thinking about living life in reaction mode.
If we have been warned a number of times regarding danger
why then do we still so often end up in a situation where
it is forced on us to react to the consequences of our actions
or inactions
instead of proactive preventative actions

Maybe the bigger question is why at 35 am I still having to ask this question?

Perhaps my ADhd tendancies, perhaps my distracted creative temperment.
but more importantly the lack of discipline.
I know I must live my life with lists
or the important things will be forgotten.
yet I write lists and forget to use them
write lists and file them away unread
thinking in some sort of ego's haze
"I'll remember them this time."
Each notation on the lines of lists
a seed full of potential for growth.
like a packet of garden seeds
individually waiting to be plucked out
and planted in a place prepared
and the whole a garden of sustainance and beauty
I've never been a very good gardener.

Time to go to work.

You've got an Ugly Mug, Can you handle it?

2007-05-13T19:33:00.000-06:00

Mom don't mistake this for your video message, that's down below
this onw is about attaching handles to mugs.

;)

Happy Mother's Dayyy

2007-05-13T14:41:00.000-06:00

Hey Mom!

Here's a little shot of my weekend activities.

Love Ya.

Jeffrey

Time ticks stuck sticks

2007-05-11T21:45:00.000-06:00

So, I'd post some of the photos from tonight's shoot, but I got stuck way out in the country and had to walk back,
refreshing to be sure.
hour and a half walk.
I think I need a 4x4

New Heights

2007-05-07T22:09:00.000-06:00

This past weekend,
Josh, Don, and I spent a couple days adding 86 new holds to the climbing wall
and repairing and raising the zipline at Arlington.
So much fun!

Camping taxes your mind.

2007-04-30T16:17:00.000-06:00

Went out camping for the first time this year,
headed straight west to the lakeside
then hiked a short distance North into the
Eastshore Wildlife Mangement Zone.
This is one of my favorite areas
a narrow stip about one kilometre wide running
along most of the east shore of Last Mountain Lake.
The natural prairie has been preserved here, and wildlife is abundant

The crocuses are in full bloom
pressing their way though the dense last year's grass.
The air was full of waterfowl
and they continued through the night
with their calls and warbles.
I did not get much sleep.

I sat up and watched a beaver swim back and forth in front of me
curious as to what I was,
several times it swam up to the shallows stood up and stared at me
then after becoming comfortable with my presence
went about it's search for food.
I've never heard such loud chewing!
With the birds and the beaver, there was not much hope for a restful night.
So tossing and turning I lay under the moonlight
This was a bit too of a struggle through depression
Coming to terms with who I am (have become)
It's a greater challenge than I ever imagined.

I had been internally kicking myself over lack of foresight(again)
regardign income tax. And having not held any reserve funds
I was anxious over what had come to a rather large amount
(It was a good year for sales!)
So after the night of wrestling
I drove home to edit the new photographs
My best patron phoned wondering if she could stop by and pick up some pottery.
we agreed that Sunday afternoon would be best.
God's been putting His thumb on my self reliance lately
and trying to turn me to trusting Him again fully.

Sunday afternoon came
And this lovely Christian lady,
though she may not have been aware of it,
came as a gift from God,
and left me with my taxes paid
and money in the bank to spare.
What grace to walk in.
Thank you Lord.

Hmm,
God bringing good out of the thorns of my own foolishness
now the lesson is to not continue in sin
hoping that grace may increase.

Peace.

Three mugs throwing video

2007-04-27T16:34:00.001-06:00

Here's a series of mugs.

Updates

2007-04-23T23:42:00.000-06:00

I've just redone my Creative Site
Click the link at right to access it
It has more photography and new pottery pics up.

I shutter at the thought!

2007-04-23T08:19:00.000-06:00

I took hundreds of pictures yesterday,
took the afternoon and evening heading West, ending up at the lake waiting for dusk and sunset.
It was not disappointing.

Trying to get lost

2007-04-20T18:56:00.000-06:00

Today after work I went out on the back roads looking for photographs.
Farther and farther chasing after the elusive sunlight which was being stolen by the bank of clouds sliding underneath it. Chasing animals and light, I turned on roads which led to trails,

The trails went to low spots, where with the spring runoff,
they were impassible, so off the trails I drove into the fields full of
geese, ducks and sandhill cranes, flying wildly away from my coming.

In the end darkness prevailed,
but for this night,
and rain in it's blanket
encouraged the welcome warmth of soup.

The sun shall rise again.

Crazy new Camera

2007-04-15T21:33:00.000-06:00

A pic from my new Nikon D80!
So complex and beautiful and so much to learn.
I'm hoping to unlock it's many secrets over the next few months.

This shot is from Duval.

Getting off track

2007-04-02T22:32:00.000-06:00

Update on the train...

Seems that a set of wheels came loose and were dragging down the middle of the track for around five miles.

hmmm

Getting on track

2007-04-01T22:13:00.000-06:00

I've started a series of photo collages about the railway, and providentially this week a train provided an interesting subject.
It appears that the train was dragging some very heavy object, as the ties leading up to the crossing had deep depressions in them.
The crossing itself had a deep rut torn down the centre.

The collage consists of around 200 pictures and will likely be around 3feet by 9feet

Floor request

2007-03-10T08:36:00.000-06:00

Hey Tim,

I guess it's time to finally get around to putting up a picture of the refinished floor as requested.

It's especially hard to keep this place dust free,
but what a difference a sealed floor makes

Breakfast

2007-02-25T09:31:00.000-06:00

I've been on a porridge spree for a bit, loving those
itty bitty packages of preflavoured instant stuff
so convienient!

I ran out of them.

So this morning I pulled out the bag of slow cook oats from the cupboard

The cat (Barbarella) has this habit of sinking her teeth into anything grainy that
happens to be left out in plain sight.
This morning's victim was the bag of tortillas.
She chews through the plastic and messes up a few pieces then runs away

The bag of oats had a few toothy holes in it,
so I internally scolded her and proceeded
measure water
put on to boil
measure oats
mix in
stir wait enjoy

sugar,
cinnamon,
spoon

I'm half way through the bowl
when I notice ...
A sunflower seed?
hmmm
kinda dark for that.
Oh.

hMMM
what's that other off colour brown spot
OH!

Mouse turd
and maggot in my meal this morning
Lovely

I'm going back to toast.

The bike

2007-02-18T16:13:00.000-06:00

Just came inside from my second bike ride this week.
Did I mention this is the bike that won an adventure race?
(though it wasn't me riding it)
I can hear it dripping in the entry, hung like a wet sweater from it's hook
snow cloggled treads coming free from the icy coat.
I love this bike, beautiful full suspension by Specialized,
Tom (my brother) gave it to me two Christmases past.
Gave me a little present, the wrapped contents feeling like a book
opened up to find , "no it couldn't be" " what?" thoughts going through my head
as it was revealed to be a bike manual
and sent to the garage to find it.
WOW, definately one of the most meaningful gifts I've ever recieved.
I cried.
My old bike, well past it's prime,
though having been top of the line for it's first owner
had come to a state where about fifty metres was
the maximum distance I could ride it without something
either puncturing, slipping, or outright falling off.

I must say this gift came at the right time in my life
Winters have been times of deep depression for me
and none so much as these last two
Not to say posessions are the solution to depression
when my real need is to trust in God,
(and perhaps a sunlamp)
But wow what an unexpected blessing.
THanks Tom.
I know it is over a year ago.
but I'm thankful every day for that bike.

Ah the lovely fumes!

2007-01-16T21:21:00.000-06:00

SO , so , so
I am refinishing my floors in the studio and gallery (as well as the gallery shelves)
Some might think this should be a summer job,
you know the type where the windows should be open and fans on...
well not for me. As midwinter after Christmas is slow time, it's the home reno show here
and oh how the wafting odour of polyurethane lulls me to sleep

I am actually quite amazed by the ability of my furnace to carry the vapours
so quickly throughout the whole hose
Guss that shows something for duckwork

THe thougth has crossed my mind to maybe move out for a day or so
but I love my home, and the comports of ti
Friends have sluggested, inpinionated even
that geese camelskulls cud be affection my mine
I donut thing sew
Toil necks thyme
Got an other goat to putt on the flower.

Prayer Retreat

2007-01-05T23:49:00.000-06:00

Amazing
what a few hours of intense spiritual focus can do for your outlook
I'm tired, wiped out
but intensely encouraged by the beginning of this retreat.
Tomorrow I dig into the ice monuments with the teens.
Strange how plans change.
more later

Storm

2006-12-16T19:35:00.000-06:00

Stuck here an extra day at Mom and Dad's
4-6 inches of new snow!
Roads closed or not advised
Will try again tomorrow

Here's a pic of some snow to warm you up

So many things to write about

2006-12-14T08:04:00.000-06:00

At work a few weeks ago
During a period of being depressed about where I live,
I was listening to this guy I'd never heard of
speak to the students and staff at work.
Sigmund Brower had everyone enthralled and engaged
for the hour he spoke.
His focus was on writing well,
but an aside had him commenting on small town life
and how he believes the internet will become the equalizer
in allowing people to do what they love
and live cheaply out here,
while maintaining contact with peers.
The example he gave was
of a potter in a small town who loves to make little pots
and can use the internet for promotion
Everyone turned around and looked at me .
Sigmund had no idea about me (till later)

Saturday got to hang out and learn from Cindy Morgan, Sigmund's wife,
Greatly enjoying hanging out and being creative with others for a day
We came up with a title for a song
"That's what matters"
and then went off in pairs to conjour up some lyrics
we brought them back and she took them to the keyboard
hearing the short clips of her interpretations
blew us away, a short perusal over the sheets we handed in
and then bang bang bang onto the keys
and out came a fabulous range of music
each set of lyrics matched both the words and the writers of the words.
What an amazing gifted woman.
Definately doing what she is supposed to!

Then that Saturday evening
Cindy and Sigmund performed at my church
only a sparse number of people showed up
the concert was fabulous
and Sigmund's talk again both entertaining and encouraging.
Afterward, I gave them a teapot as a thanks gift
and ended up having them over to my house.
Trading pottery and talking of a future creative workshop.

Such a cool couple of days.
God is good

Found This

2006-12-08T19:45:00.000-06:00

Found this quote on a random Next Blog jump

"
That was the first thing I had to learn about her, and maybe the hardest I've ever learned about anything--that she is her own, and what she gives me is of her choosing, and the more precious because of it. Sometimes a butterfly will come to sit in your open palm, but if you close your hand, one way or the other, it--and its choice to be there--are gone.-Barbara Hambly (Dragonsbane)
"

Acting out

2006-12-01T08:12:00.000-06:00

So these past couple of weeks I've been learning

what was essentially a monologue, which I

performed Thursday and Wednesday this week!

First real acting I've done in years. I forgot

how difficult memorizating is.

The performances went well, such a strange

feeling standing and walking around a crowd of

150 women having them all stare at you.

I played the part of the innkeeper in Bethlehem

speaking of the promised coming of the Messiah

while turning away knockers at the inn door.

Strange how the words became much more powerful

in front of the audience.

I guess life itself feels more full and right too,

when we like those words I memorized, are

out working where we were intended.

God's promise for purpose and fullfilling joy

in this life, can only come when we are

out working in His world. That's where we
are to be. Though the "words" he provides us to

memorize are different every time.

Order

2006-11-21T08:30:00.000-06:00

Make this a place
future planted full of grace
in a wilderness wild
lush garden grow
the beauty of order
in the middle of overgrowth
a place of meditation
where thoughts fresh caught
are served on the table of banquet
and prayers dig the ore of God
wrought into monuments
lives lived loving
never a cage for spirit
beaten from the land abroad.

Backing into a corner of normal

2006-11-20T22:22:00.000-06:00

Today felt like a switch was flipped
All the rumbling, other than good inner workings
just seemed to come to the point of...
"well either you have the "courage" to continue
a self destructive course,
or you head in the direction you are supposed to be eh..

So it's South from Depression's North then
and on to the sunlit lands of a creative mind
exploring new territory
just to see what I'll find.

First stop.
My basement
and the neglected stained glass studio
Going to smash out the wall around the furnace room
to make almost double the work space down there!
and then finish the large sculptures
which have been languishing
along with the rocket lights which are to hang
above the peninsula in the kitchen.

Christmas break will involve
a 16 foot high 21 panel ice chapel/hermitage.
sort of onion dome shaped
and lots of coloured patterns
and appropriate lighting

Come join the fun.

You are welcome anytime...
no matter who you are

Sale(ish) day.

2006-11-11T07:47:00.000-06:00

Here I am early morning.
last touches on the spot job cleaning ahead.
not desiring to have this sale,
but impressed by the amount of pottery
I have on the sale tables.
So much produced over the years
bits and pieces left from complete sets made,
I just want to be rid of them
so that I can move on
to the new work,
the new look,
the new feel.

It's sale day,
and I'm not ready.
again.

Stuttering against the pane

2006-11-10T18:23:00.000-06:00

It is a custom among flies
When sunrise comes so very seldom
To rush forward
kilter over wing
closer to eyes love
for some sort of song
the light does sing
beconing as a siren
who knows in her hollow call
their hopes will be wasted
stuttering against the pane
as if they have no will
but hers to be dashed
dead upon sunset

Hope tied up in knots

2006-11-09T23:42:00.000-06:00

Some days areSome days are not.
So I've pretty much abandoned getting ready for my upcoming pottery sale
today was a write off,
with too much thought on the recent collapse of a relationship
and wondering how I became such a repulsive person.
to have bound up so much of myself in the hope i've had for so many years now.
that it might be possible to remarry
To have my excitement and enthusiasm
turn into the very thing which is hated about me
"most overzealous person I've ever met"was the comment.

wow.

I was just excited about finding a believer
to share the deep parts of my heart with.
i guess she didn't want that.
nor allow me a chance to adjust for her.
guess i won't do that again
...
just a rant
will see how the sale prep proceeds tomorrow

2006-09-23T10:52:00.000-06:00

Wow how a month flies by
Getting back into the swing of normal life after holiday
Some things that have started this month
Work at school
bus driving
Mountain biking 5-6 hours a week
painting every other thursday
Pottery 2-4 hours every day
editing the video from the summer
and assorted other important stuff

Really excited about pottery this fall
am going into a new store in Prince Albert
which my friend Wes and his Marie own
Pretty cool
so I'm producing lots of big special pieces for the space

Home at last

2006-08-31T10:51:00.000-06:00

Arrived back in Duval Sunday night
and basically collapsed for the three days
with fits of cleaning/organizing thrown in

Bought around 15 containers to hold all my art supplies in the library and reign in the monster which has been residing there for an number of years.

Good to be home.

Home again - sort of...

2006-08-20T01:24:00.000-06:00

Here in Weyburn,
My Uncle Darrell and Aunt Joyce's 40th anniversary.
Nice end to a long trip
meeting with lots of family and friends
Home tomorrow afternoon.

Sweet home...

Vancouver

2006-08-15T17:37:00.000-06:00

Finally arrived back in Canada last night,
the border guard didn't even ask for any id!
Just
Where are you from
where have you been , how long
is that a Saskatchewan License plate
Ok thank you...
Hmmm
Good to be home(ish)

Boulder City

2006-08-12T23:36:00.000-06:00

Going back a week or so....

left Zion to meet up with Paul Romero and Karen Lundgren in Boulder City Nevada
Tom and Lori had a shoe show in Vegas to attend, so i looked after the kids for a few days
Lake mead (where we camped) was formed by the building of Hoover Dam
and is currently about 20 feet lower than peak levels.

the place is desert and feels barren and so very foreign
hot and dry
The air conditioner actually worked so hard it froze up
and had to be defrosted
Took the kids to the pool,
Went to Bonnie Springs
a re-enactment of an old western town
complete with hangings and gunfights.
Mackenzie was in fine form
taunting the gunslingers to shoot him and then running
behind either myself or his siblings
I took some footage of the gunfight.
Also there was a petting zoo
where we were able to feed birds and turtles

Hoover dam was amazing
the amount of work required to create it
the massive scale
and amount of water it holds back
I crossed several of the aqueducts which stem from it
while heading North through the Californian deserts
water so important
and our next political test
they will be coming for our water
for this dry and thirsty land

every day we would go swimming
either in the pool at Boulder City or in Lake mead
the water levels are so much lower
that the sand dumped in to form a beach
is now 1/2 mile up from the waterline
the bottom is mud and rock

Mackenzie had found an aerobie frisbee on the bottom of the lake
and was quite proud of himself
only to loose his grip on it while swimming and had it disappear again
Some time after that Mackenzie and Jackson
in usual form were alternately fighting/playing and confusing the two
When Max starts screaming
"I lost my shorts, I lost my shorts"
seems Jackson had pulled them off of him
and now they too like the aerobie were gone.
Max was alternately laughing/distressing over this situation
though several butt revealing surface dives documented the level of his concern
we wrapped him in a towel and made it back to the van without incident
Quite a funny time

The next day after a long tour of Hoover
we rolled back in for another swimming session
Emma, having become quite fond of collecting clamshells
was divng again and again for them
the boys were some distance off doing their own diving,
though not for shells, but
for mud with which to assault each other
After many dives
Emma surfaces with a big grin on her face
"I found Mackenzie's shorts" she exclaims
Stunned i stare at the red and white trunks in her hand
and break out laughing
Max hears this and comes to see
before he can get there
we stuff the pockets full of clamshells
and when he arrives tell him that while the shorts were underwater
the clams moved into them
His mouth gapes in astonished wonder at this news
His siblings help him figure it out.

God is so amazing at helping us find things we've lost
Like our childhoods and innocence again

After giving over the shorts Emma dove again
and came up with a dollar bill from the bottom
Truely amazing!

The rewards of persistence

Here in Washington

2006-08-12T23:02:00.000-06:00

I'm always astounded at the beautiful places God provides
This home on the banks of the Columbia river
So lush and beautiful
a place being renewed
the old house being renovated and done right
the yard full of berries and the old trees from a historic orchard
now grown over.
fresh blackberries and plums baked in a tart
A place of refreshing and calm
to rest and catch up with myself
assess and breathe

Monday off to Vancouver BC.
One week left

I guess I'm getting tired

2006-08-12T22:58:00.000-06:00

Written on the 9th August 2006

Into what do I go>?

Another long drive,
for what I ask
This all seems so selfish
this trip
this journey
all about me
have I helped any
Have I led any closer to you Lord?
I fear not

Cable cars in San Fransisco
glimpsed from behind the glass of my van
It's been a long day
driving to get to another campsite after dark,
another place arrived unseen
to be discovered in the morning.

I've felt like you brought me to the desert Lord,
but here I've lost contact with you
lost even the thought of you
just drive
drive on
and drive more
No more lonely drives Lord,
You said I was not built this way
"It is not good for man to be alone"

Yet in so many marriages I see no good in being together
Why is it that way lord?

I'm in Northern California
Near Westwood on the coast
I'm expecting dawn to be incredible
Yet I'm heartbroken at being on this trip alone.

This leg of the trip has turned into rushing to get to where I know there are
friends waiting for me.
I don't care about the stuff inbetween

I skipped almost the entire coast of California up til this point
No one there to meet me
No one to share it with except vicariously online
and that is not enough
No hand to hold at the beauty
no shared words at the marvels
Nothing but the same internal monologue
trying to describe new experiences

How to be alone?

when the world demands you hook up
enveloping yourself in another
even if it only lasts a day, a week, a moment
you can throw them off like an old coat
and pick up a new one at the outlet mall

I hear the waves crashing
past the edge of the bluff I am camped on
Like hopes I have for the future
I wonder what they will look like
and what the shore has become because of them
Find out tomorrow i guess.

Time for sleep

Lots to catch up on from the days past.
So very much
Mexico
Las Vegas
Boulder City, Lake mead

1-Aug-06 Angels Landing

2006-08-07T23:47:00.000-06:00

Sunday July 30

got up early this morning
and heading up for a last hike in Zion

To climb 1500 feet up to the top of
Angels Landing
The peak on the right in the picture
One of the most strenuous paths in the park
Pretty much the exact opposite of the canyon hike
long steep trails up the side of a mountain
with a view of the larger Zion canyon

most of the trail was in shade
and starting at 7:30am was a good idea
parts of the trail were less than three feet across
with a straight drop of around 1000 feet

The weather was wonderful
light clouds and cool morning air

1-Aug-06 Still more Zion

2006-08-07T23:05:00.000-06:00

Still more Zion

Saturday July 29
Today went canyoneering for the first time ever
This feels like the best day of my life

Spry Canyon

Met with Rob, Tom's teammate for the upcoming race in Baja
who took us early this morning on a most phenomenal trip
I had no idea what to expect
Tom told me that we were going to rappell into a canyon and then hike out
what a rappell and what a hike

We entered a wide canyon and hiked up and across some dry slippery slickrock
up over a crest and then dropped down into a slot canyon
a deep narrow cleft in the mountain
carved by years of water rushing through in the short heavy monsoon season rains

Incredible beauty around every turn
Rob told us that there were 13 rappels on this route
WOW
Some of them would be over 100 feet

The first rappel was a steep slope,
with a pool half way down
and another pool at the bottom
I thought to myself,
this is pretty easy
and took the first trip down
It had been a couple years since climbing
and then only on the wall at Arlington

The next series however,
Narrow cracks,
Anchors attached to logs which had jammed in those narrow cracks
Deep unavoidable pools at the bottoms
one of which we had to swim with our packs and harnesses on
And drops down past overhangs where all you had was the rope and your trust in it.
no wall to place your feet on
dangling 75+ feet in the air
What a scary, exciting feeling

At the bottom of one rappel
Tom went first and managed to miss entirely the pool at the bottom
I came down next and went in up to my thighs
Linda was third and asked us how deep it was
we both related our experiences
and she attempted to swing over closer to the exit
stepped down and fell backwards
onto we thought her butt in shallow water
because she was in up to her shoulders
We laughed hard
until she said she couldn't touch the bottom
She was Standing up!
at this point our laughter was almost disabling
as she clambered out onto the sand
Rob finished coming down
and was scouting the next drop
while Tom started pulling the rope down
part way into the task
Rob stopped him and said we might need the rope attached to the upper anchor
to continue down
one end of the rope was already out of reach
in the attempt to retrieve it Tom fell into the same hole
only his was total submersion
in some pretty stagnant water
Linda had the last laugh

I never thought I would have such an amazing opportunity
The entire hike took around 7 hours
I'd do it again in a heartbeat

More Zion

2006-07-29T18:12:00.000-06:00

I'm a bit behind but I'll try to sum up the past few days
Thursday I hiked up the Narrows
which is the beautiful narrow canyon from which the Virgin river descends
It's hard to describe the beauty
but the pictures on the website will help a bit.

Coming from the prairie it was hard to believe that sandstone could come in such shapes
and that water could make such an amazing landscape
Sculpted, the only word to describe the walls.
Incredibly in this desert environment,
water fills the porous sandstone,
seeping deep down into the rock
and then dripping out when it meets a harder layer of sedimentary rock
this creates the lush environment at the bottom of the deep narrow canyons
with ferns, moss and other water lovign plants thriving while 1000 feet above the
landscape is scrub brush and cactus

I hiked for four hours up the Narrows,
Meeting Doug and Eric from Michigan
with whom I hiked intermittently the entire time

More next post on Emerald pools and Life in the Taylor (Tom and Lori's) Trailer

Zion

2006-07-28T09:18:00.000-06:00

Zion!

A shaky van and tired me,
20+ hours on the road
two campsites

dead:
one bird
one rabbit

One triple egg omelete with potatoes
several granola bars
one taco salad
one burrito
two litres of Bolthouse farms juice
one iced chai
lots of water (tasting good and bad)

Finding out that my van stops vibrating at around 120km/ph

Arriving at Zion National Park
An amazing place of God's creation
The Mormons got that right
Parts look like someone melted red bricks over the hills
deep carved channels

WOW

TRAVEL PICTURES UP

2006-07-26T10:31:00.000-06:00

Click on the link to the right for my new travel pics and the Pottery website

Utah Day one and Two

2006-07-26T10:02:00.000-06:00

So here I am on this trip

The last stop I made in Regina was Starbucks for an iced chai tea
Picked up my order and turned around to see Aunt Sherry!
Great to have someone to chat with before the long road
And she paid for some pottery picked up earlier
Enough for a tank of gas :)

Don't know what is in store for me this trip but here are a few things to look forward to
Virgin Utah
Mountain biking and rock climbing in Zion National Park
Boulder City, Nevada and kayaking in Lake Mead
Baja Californina, Mexico
Columbia River, Washington

Right now I am in Livingstone Montana
The general area where most of one of my favorite movies
"A River Runs Through It" was filmed.
Stopped in to put some tires on the van,
and have an alignment done
Slept somewhere between Sidney and Billings pulling in after dark and finding the campsite totally empty.
Woke up to an incredible orange sunrise
Deer coming out of the woods to drink at the river
Hit the road at 6am
SO early compared to my schedule of the past few weeks.

Have traveled around 1050 km so far Just over half way to Virgin Utah

Asking God for a vision
an idea of where I am to go with the filmmaking urges
what to shoot and how to do it
what kind of viewpoint

Realized this morning how greatly I love clouds
Driving through the landscape with only blue sky
I found it boring,
but when I journeyed further into clouded skies my spirits were lifted.

Am looking forward to shooting Tom and Rob biking and climbing
and the teams and support crews in Baja.
And shooting some underwater in the ocean
I think I may need to pick up a wide angle and zoom lens at the Sony Store in Vegas.

Observations:

the number of towns with crystal meth billboards,
Meth = Death
Once is too much

Not something we have a problem with yet in Duval
(that I know of)

Manhunt at home

2006-07-10T22:05:00.000-06:00

Up here in Spiritwood at Mom and Dad's place
this old convent has been filled up with RCMP officers involved in the search for the fugitive
Strange having to come through a checkpoint to visit.
Also staying here is a family who's farm is next to the criminal's.

Needless to say it's a busy place.

Tomorrow off further North.

Macbook : iTRAVELER

2006-07-09T22:11:00.000-06:00

It arrived two days ago,
THis plain brown box
could not possibly be heavy enough
Smaller white box inside
smaller white computer
like a Russian nesting doll

Here's the plan...

I'm heading canoeing tomorrow
No computers allowed,

Then home for a week
Pottery sale and dinner set delivery
and then off to the States and Mexico
where I will utilize hotel and other free wireless
to keep everyone updated on my travels.

See you on the road!

2006-07-09T21:54:00.000-06:00

This is my first test of the blogger widget on my new Macbook!

Under the cover of darkness.

2006-06-22T08:16:00.000-06:00

It's been said,
and perhaps proven by scripture,
that God has done his most important work
Out of the cover of darkness.

Creation,
The cross.

On Monday evening this week
I had just settled in to watch "Robots"
With my friend Nathan
The phone rang, and another friend began to tell me of
a marriage disaster, and the intense pain of betrayal.
While in this conversation, call waiting was beeping insistantly
Not wanting to answer I let it go
THen my cell rang,
and I had Nate answer and take the message.
I knew it must be something important
When I called back, I found out that one of my students had committed suicide by hanging himself.

I'm reeling from that
as are the school and community

God do your best work here,
It feels so very dark.

Must becoming famous

2006-06-16T17:19:00.000-06:00

Sometimes things happen which you don't expect.

Times in my life like seeing the seagull with one leg of a starfish stuffed as far as it could down it's throat, no way the rest were going to fit.

Or driving home from Grandpa's funeral and God gives me this incredible sky, which I filmed, with a rainbow, pink clouds and lightning all at the same time!

Today watching a fledgling robin being fed and it got the worm wrapped over it's beak. It just sat there oblivious to it being there.

Or going to garage sales and finding people are starting to put my pottery in them, two so far have had pieces up for resale.
One might find the presence of his art at a garage sale upsetting. I am however quite proud. It makes me feel almost famous. Knowing that my work is in so many homes in this area that it has started to become common (grin)

And people are making room for the new work which has changed so much from the items which are appearing in the sales. Life just keeps moving on. Pots just keep getting better.

Legacy

2006-05-28T16:36:00.000-06:00

What a legacy you've left

my dear elder friend,
such love and joy
to which I have borne
proud witness.

Early Friday morning,
My Grandfather
passed away.

I'm up at my parent's in
Spiritwood SK,
putting together
all the video I've shot of Grandpa,
and sitting in the midst
of my relative's reflections
on this great man.
Well beloved
in his community,
a man of many talents,
and the genetic source
I am sure of my creative impulses!.

Always quick with a joke,
and a huge smile.
Generous, fun loving,
gentle and eloquent.
But most of all faithful in prayer,
for his wife, family and friends.
Loving God with his whole heart.

Farewell.
And see you in Heaven someday
I love you Grandpa.

Loneliness

2006-05-24T22:34:00.000-06:00

Today at work, I was helping a student with english,
the section we were in was exploring lonliness
and gave instructions to write a paragraph or poem on the subject.

Here's what I came up with

Alone

A shy house empty of voices
full, of empty chairs
full cupboards
but empty places and plates
No one arrives
No one is ever late
Dust settles undisturbed
only one chair
with a polished seat

Slam, slam, slam slam, wonderful slam, glorious slam!

2006-05-24T15:42:00.000-06:00

Tuesaday May 23, 2006

A night to remember,

Met my friend Laura for the first time

Took her around Regina
to a few art spots
and to see my pots
at Traditions
Hung out at the library
and then went to our first Poetry Slam
She convinced me to ante up the $2
and enter the contest.
entering late, instead of the
30 minutes maximum allowed,
I had 20

So... on an empty stomach
and a pint of Guinness
off I went scribbling away.
Nervous as a mouse in a trap shoot
I finished my work before the alotted
time was up and handed it in.
Then we waited for the fun to begin
Names were drawn out of a hat,
and the anticipation of where I would be placed
grew and grew, and grew with our guesses
until it was clear I was to go last
which was fantastic!

My dictionary page included many syn- words and a few T's
Here is the poem I came up with
(thanks for the answered prayer God)

Syn - the same, alike
(an ode to the brave poets in the slam)

Pen.
Slow to lift to paper
late entry in this,
this swot of syntax
this paper filled scribble of pen black
scribble
charge
attack
swing fingers and never
look back
You, You've got to
take delight in the wordsmiths
the synod of write
Bubble breathed battlers
Upper tounged rattlers
All welcome in this synagogue

Pour words like liquor
into the void

Tonight we all stand
before our God
hoping that the wieght of our words
will fall on sympathetic ears
Stand now up here
fighting down the fear
As upward fly
voice raised high
to the true Tabernacle
And I Zacheus
in his sycamore
long for a glimpse of God.

Made it to the finals
and ended up in the top five
with several people
coming by with compliments afterward
Was fantastic and a bit of a healing time too!

Thanks Laura for being a part of
one of the best evenings I've had in a very long time
and for pushing me to be a slammer

Now taking requests.

2006-05-08T19:07:00.000-06:00

Last school year I became acquainted with Frankenstein.

The first was the student play at the high school I work for.
The second, was my guitar.

I work in special education, having the wonderful job of caring for and teaching a young man with Cerebral Palsy.
Music plays a pivotal role in his life and we will often travel to various shops and businesses to play songs for the staff there.
One day when visiting the post office,
playing music on what is probably the worst ukulele in the world,
the postal clerk asked us if we wanted a guitar.

Um, no thanks,
can't you see that we already have this wonderful precision instrument
that reminds us of the Hawaiian islands...

Of course I accepted and for about a year made wonderful music on our free gift.

Just prior to Christmas this year the unexpected (unexpected but wholly avoidable) happened,
I took the guitar from low humidity and extreme cold, into a very high humidity,
high temerature environment...
THe neck snapped at the end of the fretboard.
Working away in the school's shop
we drilled holes,
cut wooden pins,
and reassembled the severed head to the neck
after stringing and tuning ,
the gift guitar sounds better than it did before
I Think it's a bit of miracle.

Kind of like this life
Old schoolhouse reborn into art studio
life rising out of the ashes piles of divorce
and second chances just maybe
being better chances than the first.

It's hard to get my mind around that
how God makes good from all sorts of bad happenings
and our ability to take what He has given and smash it up a bit.
I don't know what kind of tunes I'll be playing
on this Frankenstien life,
But I know the things my God puts back together
are not monsters.

2004-01-03T00:58:00.000-06:00

Thinking about this new year staring at pencils.
Really nice multiple hardness set, with a metal case.
Wondering how it was that in the past I created artwork with tools such as these.
Longing for the patience to do so again.

Rather, longing for that feeling of the inexhaustibleness of my supply of time, which seems to have been squandered in great abundance over the past few years.
Learning this week that (perhaps refreshing my memory) pencils can be used to produce hydrogen.
Might take a while to power my Niva though.

It would seem that the events of the past few years have begun to surface in my daily life.
affecting decision making and path taking each waking step.
Family, friends, twisted and loose ends.

There should be more snow on the ground here in Saskatchewan, but the layers of flakes have not materialized and the brown wastes of last year's pasture show through.
I long for a covering for my past, yet the ideologies I have been using continue to erode.

Time to deal with the junk collection.
Cannot it would seem hide it anymore.
So true on so many levels.

Christ came, and promised the renewing of our minds. Renewal when we seek Him with our whole hearts.

It seems to me an issue that I am trying to seek with a heart that is to my investigation, not whole.

"love the Lord your God, with all your heart and soul and mind and strength, and love your neighbor as yourself." The summary of the law and prophets.

You should meet my neighbor.