Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Mr. J

A valuable lesson I've learned over the past weeks.

DON'T NAME SOMETHING YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO KILL.

For some time I've had sounds coming from my ductwork,
I finally figured out that it was "a mouse"
I named it Mr. Jangles.
(The Green Mile's mouse actor)

Once he became aquainted with my pantry
and the boxes of stores there I had to laugh,
because it would seem that his favorite food
was Access Bars, which are a product which aids greatly the burning of fat.
Though I considered the fact that his efforts to sustain himself
would only lead to weight loss,
I decided that his interest in my cupboard must end.
And then I set traps for him.
Coming back to find him cute, brown and white, and dead.
I felt a good deal of remorse for the poor little guy
and was glad that the metal spring of the trap had caught it precisely across it's neck
providing a quick end to it's life.

Those feelings remorse,
have since faded
with the subsequent elimination of the rest of Mr. Jangles family.
An adventure which has provided me with
a heightened awareness of trap snapping sounds
and included the removal of individuals of the mouse population
in various states of incapacitation.

You shouldn't name something
which someday is going to be staring up at you
from the trap you have set for it.

But I did.

And now I am desensitized.
I think maybe next week I'll rent Mouse Hunt,
or maybe settle into some Stuart Little
to regain some of the cuteness the critters have lost.

As for now,
I'm setting another trap.